I've been thinking about something a choreographer said to me once. I was telling him that I didn't want our oldest daughter (then 5 or 6) in dance classes because it would be the beginning of a long and treacherous road of poor body image and self loathing. That's what ballet was for me. I said she had my genes. I said, "I don't have a dancer's body." He immediately shot back, "If you danced, you would have a dancer's body." Smack.
I've thought about that periodically since then. Body image isn't the crushing trial it was before my mid-twenties, but the idea of doing something in order to become something applies everywhere in my life. Mother? Urbanite? Homeschooler? Sailer? I was not "the kind" until I did it and became "the kind" through practice. I need to assess what I'm doing to figure out what I'm becoming.
I'm glad I've given dance a second chance. Thanks to my dear friend K.B. for creating such a nurturing environment and teaching this class out of the goodness of her expansive heart.
P.S. These are not pictures of my dance class, but they are a good representation and the girl in the middle even looks something like I did at that age. We had balloons back in the day. ;)
4 comments:
ouch.
that is a rough comment, but i love how you applied to your life and made it great.
i have to say, that having a ballerina daughter myself, i have often worried about the effect it would have on her own body image, especially in the last few years as she became a very serious and focused dancer. i am grateful grateful for a teacher who embraces creativity has taught the girls to just love moving and exercise. for allie, it has been the opposite of poor body image but rather an expression of who she is and what amazing things she can accomplish with very hard work.
it makes me feel all the more aware of myself as a "teacher", and hope that i am sending the right kinds of messages too.
I love this post. I've been thinking about it since you told me this story. What could I be if I just made the decision and moved forward with focus and commitment? A writer? A really great homeschooler? An athlete?
The next question is then, how will I know when I am what I mean to be?
I never had a dancers body but I sure loved how dancing makes me feel.
Tamara,
True that! I've always loved dancing, freestyle. I think it was the mirror that troubled me. I was so shallow, constantly comparing myself to others. What I love about this choreographer's statement is that it defines a dancer's body not necessarily by numbers, but by abilities. I know a lot of dancers now and they all have very different bodies, but they all have incredible balance, awareness, fluidity, and control. If I were a dancer, I'd have that.
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