Link-back for all my Women (& Men)

If there is ever a time when more is expected of you than you think you can deliver (and you like to laugh) please click HERE. My sister is a certifiable GENIUS!!!!

Today I streamed National Geographics: Stress: Profile of a Killer. Highly recommend.

You must relax. Breathe deeply. Connect with friends. Do something you love. Do something that makes you feel fantastic. Or you will lose your memory and die very soon. Well, a lot sooner than your relaxed counterparts.

This message is brought to you by a huge fan of Netflix streaming.

I'm not a Vegetarian, but...

This is what we're having for dinner. Yesterday it was brown rice with canned kidney beans, sauteed garlic, cajun spices, chili powder, and sea salt (boiled sweet potatoes on the side). Today I dumped in leftover spaghetti sauce and mozzarella. We have this basil growing in our window, so I just threw it on for fun. Basil may not be as versatile as bacon, but it is generally a good idea. Voila! Easy-peasy stuffed pepper "boats."

I'm always interested in more recipes featuring rice and beans, so feel free to share.

Wherever you are: Enjoy!

I spent nine days in Cape Cod with the kids. We shared a four-bedroom single family home on a quiet gravel road near a lakefront beach. By the second night the kids had all moved into one bedroom because they didn't want to miss out on any fun. I took the kids everywhere; to look out points, marinas, cranberry bogs, beaches, grocery stores, all without hesitation because I knew I could park again when I got home. I washed sandy swimsuits and towels every single day in the washing machine. I laid in the grass and was nurtured. I sent the younger ones out to play while the older ones were doing academic work. It was so close to heaven. We didn't have so many obligations. We didn't have so many toys or books.

Focus makes life feel more abundant

It was like living in slow motion with time to savor each thing: trees, grass, playing baseball with Torpedo, Sparkle creating worlds in the mud out of pebbles and bottle caps. It was such a happy time. My heart feels good for everyone who gets to have that suburban experience, especially the ones who realize what a treasure it is. So many people have that every day and constantly complain about not having enough.

I’m happy where we are. My family is my Happy. New York is an amazing place to live. I'm just saying, wherever you are...Enjoy! :)

Less is better for us

Every state or city provides different levels of support to it's children with special needs. I live in one that lays it on thick and then some, especially if your child has a diagnosis like Down syndrome. Mermaid has been receiving Physical therapy, Speech, Special Instruction, and Occupational Therapy each twice weekly for thirty minutes. I'll do the math for you = 32 x monthly (plus clean up, plus after-chat, plus delays, plus occasional no-shows without warning...). If we cancel a session for an outing, we have to make it up later increasing the amount of therapy on another day. Mermaid has four sessions in one day at these times. We're essentially tethered to the apartment.

Sure, her four siblings have had to sacrifice opportunities for field trips, classes, play dates, etc. We've all relinquished some flexibility for a good cause. Mermaid has progressed continuously. We love to welcome her wonderful therapists into our home. They counsel and encourage us. They have been willing to meet us at the homes of friends, at the playground, or at the park. They are constantly thinking of how to challenge Mermaid next. They are experts in their fields and really nice people, too. Seeking to balance all of this good stuff with the downside in a way that best fits our family's needs and allows Mermaid to experience the variety and wonder of the great wide world in person, we decided to cut back therapy by 75%. That's 8 visits monthly. We are an aberration in the system. Nobody downsizes when they are "entitled."

This quote from Ann Sullivan inspired me:

"Let him go and come freely, let him touch real things, and combine his impressions for himself, instead of sitting indoors at a little round table, while a sweet-voiced teacher suggests that he build a stone wall with his wooden blocks, or make a rainbow out of strips of coloured paper, or plant straw trees in bead flower-pots. Such teaching fills the mind with artificial associations that must be got rid of before the child can develop independent ideas out of actual experiences."

We've been on the "sleek" schedule since August and it has been fabulous! Mermaid continues to progress at a steady rate. Our language-rich climate at home coupled with increased "actual experiences," has allowed Mermaid to experience a language explosion. I believe hands-on experiences are the most significant for all of my children, but especially Mermaid. We've all enjoyed the freedom of getting out of town, out to visit family, out to the beach, out to playgroups, out... just out. New environments always motivate our curious Mermaid to develop skills or add new words. As a home schooling family, this works for us. Everyone has to calibrate their own definition of balance. Sometimes it's hard to get what you need. In our case, advocating for our child and our family means taking less of what is offered to have more of what we want.

You've come a long way, Baby!

For a full update on Mermaid click here! We could not be having more fun.

A Dancer's Body

I've been thinking about something a choreographer said to me once. I was telling him that I didn't want our oldest daughter (then 5 or 6) in dance classes because it would be the beginning of a long and treacherous road of poor body image and self loathing. That's what ballet was for me. I said she had my genes. I said, "I don't have a dancer's body." He immediately shot back, "If you danced, you would have a dancer's body." Smack.

I've thought about that periodically since then. Body image isn't the crushing trial it was before my mid-twenties, but the idea of doing something in order to become something applies everywhere in my life. Mother? Urbanite? Homeschooler? Sailer? I was not "the kind" until I did it and became "the kind" through practice. I need to assess what I'm doing to figure out what I'm becoming.

I'm glad I've given dance a second chance. Thanks to my dear friend K.B. for creating such a nurturing environment and teaching this class out of the goodness of her expansive heart.

P.S. These are not pictures of my dance class, but they are a good representation and the girl in the middle even looks something like I did at that age. We had balloons back in the day. ;)

Focus and Commitment

Trying something new makes me feel young; by "young" I mean enthusiastic, curious, and open. I enter the learning curve at the bottom where mistakes and successes are in symmetrical abundance. Mistakes are expected and therefore less discouraging. Successes are frequent and always a delight.

I'm taking a modern dance class and it's carving new pathways in my brain. While I love to dance freestyle at home or at parties, I haven't taken a dance class since early elementary school. My teacher expects awareness of the body, its relationship to space, and its relationship to the other dancers. I've long considered myself spatially challenged. I once entered a dance circle with a dramatic kickboxing move which caught my friend in the stomach and knocked her flat. Too much MTV?

In this class, my teacher praises focus and commitment to a movement. I notice this about dancers. The entire body is directed towards a single goal or direction. That may change quickly, but when it does the entire body supports the new decision. It's obvious on stage, but I've seen this in my dancer friends even when they are cooking.

I often think about the mind-body-spirit connection, but don't always honor it in my choices. My shoulders, hips, knees, and feet are generally facing three different directions. I know my body is telling me something true about my focus and commitment.

It's easier to be open to ideas in a new setting, environment, or experience. Modern dance is creating a new awareness and a new metaphor for understanding myself and my relationships with time, space, and people. Tonight my teacher praised "moments" of focus and commitment. I hope to have more of these moment in class and in life.

I wish it were that easy

Bedtime conversation last night:

Sparkle: I feel like crying, but I don't know why.

Me: Okay...?

Sparkle: I just thought that since you gave birth to me you might know why I feel like crying.

Fair Winds

It's still early in the season here, but Providence gave My Hero gorgeous weather for his birthday (Happy Birthday!!!) and he finagled one of the only boats that was actually in the water moored just off Long Island Sound. I'm not going to lie. The cold bit through two sweaters and my coat. Wind must be cold blooded like a reptile, because it generally comes out after the sun has been up for a while. In our case, that was the last hour of our sailing time.

It was GLORIOUS!

We met a new friend (NF) who had at least 20 years of sailing experience. NF and My Hero generously coaxed me into taking the tiller while we had the precious wind. Normally, I stick to the sheets (ropes) and follow orders because I find the tiller counter-intuitive. Last season I logged a total of 40 minutes on a Sunfish before a lightening storm blew in. I was holding sleeping Mermaid the whole time. I'm not exactly a helmsman. So I was embarrassed to take the tiller in front of NF and didn't want to steal any of their wind time. This is not what is meant by "willing to learn."

I felt the wind working with our little vessel and the tiller started to make sense on a visceral level. I had to concentrate, but I made a successful tack. That was probably the longest I was ever at the tiller. My Hero fell in love with sailing first. I'm right behind him.

We didn't take any pictures, but it felt something like this:


Click here to learn about the Nortons, a family of 5 from the UK who are sailing around the world, expanding our dreams and spicing up our geography lessons. We all adore them!



I recently learned about this book promoting the value of sailing as a family in this day of decreased family leisure time and increased division due to digital devices. Here is the quote that sold me:

The best way to get people into sailing and keep them interested, says Hayes, is the time-honored relationship of a capable mentor and a keen apprentice: “Mentoring is teaching infused with leadership. Mentoring may center on a principal skill or a capability like sailing, but its mastery isn’t exclusive to the skill or the technique, but to the broader understanding of what makes the skill or technique valuable and relevant.”

Family, Mentoring, and Sailing - three loves of mine.

Fair Winds!

Integration vs. Compartmentalizing?

I've had three dedicated blogs, but thought I should probably integrate them here as they are integrated in the flow of my life: events, thoughts, home school, down syndrome stuff. They all fold together in my reality, but the argument for compartmentalized blogs was recently made by some friends. Perhaps, it's easier for those only interested in our down syndrom journey to reference a dedicated blog. Likewise for my education blog. I'm undecided. In the meantime, I'll double post if it pertains to one of my other blogs.

For a paradoxical look at how compartmentalizing has brought integration for My Hero click here.

Red Lipstick Therapy

Scrutinizing my reflection and contemplating my upcoming birthday I realized that I not only look my age, but I also look something like my maternal grandmother when she was my age. I decided to accentuate the similarities with bright red lipstick like Grandma (and all the hollywood starlets of her day) used to wear. The change was dramatic. I was mildly uncomfortable, but genuinely emboldened. Red lipstick, it turns out, makes me feel cheerful.

Mermaid noticed the difference right away and was mesmerized by the presence of lips on my face. She focused trying to imitate all the shapes they made as I spoke or sang to her. Could this be a break through in her speech development? Maybe. I'll be wearing red lipstick more often... for both of us. Thank you, Grandma!

Great Minds

I’m thinking about Isaac Newton (1642-1727) and JS Bach (1685-1750). They lived so differently and yet were both so brilliant. Newton was able to think clearly and elegantly explain some mysteries of our known universe. Bach was prolific in composing powerful, meaningful music. Both believed devoutly in God. Bach was social with a large family. Newton was a priggish outsider prone to jealous grudges. Both were teachers. Bach wrote and shared prodigiously, even weekly. Newton guarded his treasures of knowledge like a Dragon often only coaxed into sharing by flattery and assurances that there would be no criticism or competition. Bach was undiscovered outside of Leipzig until 100 years after his death. Newton made “natural philosophy” (science) cool, was famous, hailed and even knighted in his lifetime. Bach died making music. Newton, experimenting to the last, nevertheless spent his latter years (27) as head of the English mint for coins and was secretly both a biblical scholar and an (illegal) alchemist.

It seems that a love for music and the responsibilities to his family propelled Bach into a position of constant creation. Whereas the discoveries for which the introverted Newton is most famous were made during an 18 month period of total seclusion induced by the black plague. Bach was welcomed into a family four generations deep in musicians. Newton’s father died shortly before Isaac’s premature birth and was left to his grandparents at the age of 3 as part of his mother’s new marriage contract. Who is to say if Bach would have been so prolific without the support and motivation of his family? Who is to say if Newton would have had the time or inclination to meditate and discern solutions if he had been more social? Frankly, I am inspired and grateful that the potential and achievement of human greatness grows in a variety personalities and circumstances. There is hope for all of us.

I can see myself, like Isaac Newton, paranoid of criticism and anxious to seek knowledge without interruptions, obligations or food. Still, I find that like J.S. Bach, I am motivated not only by a love of learning and love for my children, but also inevitable deadlines. Reading about eminent thinkers and contributors inspires a vision of myself as potentially great. I’m not referring to delusions of grandeur, just applying my honest faith in the greatness of humanity to myself as well as to others. These people were human. They had oddities (especially Newton). They had parameters. Nevertheless, they contributed. What will I contribute? What will I share?

P.S. Bach’s music was launched into outer space using Newtonian
physics.
Brandenburg Concerto No. 2 in F. First Movement
"Gavotte en rondeaux" from the Partita No. 3 in E major for Violin
The Well-Tempered Clavier, Book 2, Prelude and Fugue No.1 in C major

Adam of the Road

Adam of the Road has been the most enlightening book we've read of life in the Middle Ages. It includes old Roman roads, buildings made of Roman bricks, bits of Latin and linguistic history, contemporary superstitions, architecture, fashion, falconry, etc. We catch a glimpse of the drama surrounding the Magna Carta (signed 79 years prior to this story telling) and the first Parliament convened with common folk. Although it is woven through with all aspects of English culture in 1294, it is largely the adventurous coming of age story for a young minstrel named Adam who is guided by his strong sense of identity, his love for his father and his devotion to his dog, Nick. While showing the grit and struggle of the Middle Ages, Adam of the Road also reveals generosity, humor and humanity. I've never seen the Medieval life this way before.

Below are a few of our favorite quotes. We got too interested in reading to stop and write down each one, but we did pause to listen to the bells of St. Paul's Cathedral on youtube after reading Adam's description of them.
____________________________________________
"A road's a kind of holy thing," Roger went on. "that's why it's a good work to keep a road in repair, like giving alms to the poor or tending the sick. It's open to the sun and wind and rain. It brings all kinds of people and all parts of England together. And it's home to a minstrel, even though he may happen to be sleeping in a castle."

Adam gave her two of his remaining comfits-- a poor widow in a village wouldn't taste such sweetmeats once in a year's time -- and a silver penny. She gave him a cabbage leaf full of strawberries that she had found for him. It was easier to say goodby when you had something to give. (50)

Adam threw back his head too and laughed, strangely eased of his pain. For the first time in his life he had played the part of an oyster. He had taken the bit of grit that was scratching him and made something of it that was comfortable to him and pleasing to someone outside. He had made a valuable discovery, but he did not know it at the moment, he only knew that he felt happy again, and he wagged his head a little. (63)

Green apples ripen in time. (65)


Adam felt as though all his powers of seeing and feeling and wondering had been stretched almost to the snapping point. (66)

They had a great deal of tiresome practicing to do, the same exercises over and over again, with very little praise to sweeten it and even less sympathy when they got tired. (78)

Adam started to say, "But I couldn't sing to it; it takes all my breath to blow, " but he bit the words off short. He saw too plainly in the miller's broad honest face the struggle between the pain of sacrifice and the joy of giving. (301-302)

Decade Collage

I'm working on a collage that reflects what I'd like to include in my life over the next 10 years. Here's what I've got so far. Some of these pictures make me very nervous (scuba diving; notice there are two divers holding hands, no skin, no plants, no animals) and others really excite me (Latin, guitar, filming...) It's interesting how making a visual of my life plan makes everything more visceral than a list.

Dress available at Eshakti.

Playing to Learn

I found this article in the New York Times incredibly validating. It describes our school minus our yoga and nature walks.

The quote I have posted on my wall (literally, the wall in my home) says:

The most effective kind of education is that
a child should play amongst lovely things.
--Plato

Balance and Flow

In The Incredibles, Syndrome has a device that suspends his enemies motionless in the air, but they can still see and hear him. I sometimes wish I had the consumer version of that technology so I could neatly organize my days nurturing one child at a time while the others quietly wait their turns. I could arrange them hovering near the windows to enjoy the view while I go grocery shopping, write in my journal, prepare reports and schedules for Primary or have a pleasant conversation with my husband. I could read books! I could update my blog with all of our holiday/travel fun (working on either doing that or letting it go). Alas! Life is not that way. And I'm sure it's a good thing. The constant forward flow of time, relationships, and events requires me to continually draw deeper to find balance.




We've been doing yoga as a family for the past three weeks. Trying to hold the balance poses with all the right muscles engaged, appendages rooted, spine reaching upward and bottom tucked in...Wow! There are so many little things to tend to that a pose that appears simple actually requires incredible mindfulness to maintain. I discard irrelevant thoughts and it makes me stronger. This year I'm focusing on establishing routines and systems that allow our family to balance with the many eddied flow of our shared lives. True, my toddler is often crawling under my down dog, knocking over my triangle or beating on my resting pose, but that's the precious temporary nature of babies.

One balance choice has been (temporarily) trading reading for writing. Here is what I'm reading.

This is the best book on parenting that I have ever read. It is changing my approach and bringing calm & love into our home. It honors parents and children. A vision of eternal family friendships is rooted in mutual respect and self control. But Peck also gives specific actionable strategies from toddlers through adults to build self-mastery and a sense of mission. She also has a website.

This is a re-read. It's reminding me to nurture my children in a love of learning at their pace. It's also reminding me that as the mentor, I set the example by doing whatever I ask of my children whether it be reading the classics, practicing music, working out math problems AND I engage them in an ongoing dialogue about everything we are both learning and thinking. One of the reasons I decided to home school was that it would be a symbiotic relationship. I would not be putting my life on a shelf for 18 years. I would finally get the education I always wanted. Sometimes I'm tempted to jump back into workbooks because "progress" is so much easier to track than, say, a thoughtful discussion of recently read literature, like the ones I have almost daily with Star or the collaborative improvisational games that absorb children and engage all of their executive skills at once (negotiating, generating ideas, creating solutions, accommodating disruption).

And My Hero started a new creative outlet blog, so I like to check it out.

Take the peace and the strength and share it.
Namaste

A Knight's Tale

(No babies were harmed in the celebration of this birthday)


(There was a literary skirmish regarding the definition of "happy ending." Happy for who? The pirate or the prince? Read on for the diplomatic conclusion...

A Knight’s Tale
(As told by the guests of Sparkle’s Medieval Birthday)
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away there was a princess who was stuck in a tower and a the pirate who was very greedy indeed trapped her. He said, "Argh! Argh! Argh!” And the pirate killed the king.
The pirate hired an evil scientist to make a creature that could help him take over the kingdom. Nearby there was a knight trying to get to the princess to save her. But the pirate killed all the people who were trying to save the princess. Until there was one more prince left.
He had special helpers named Max and Alex. They had super-super power. They had super speed and super vision. The prince heard a voice calling, "help." Then there was a big burning fire from a dragon.
All of them were sleeping at night. the pirate snuck in and went past. The pirate is still alive in the castle with the queen and king dead as Zombies. Watch out. He might get you.
The prince was very quiet back to his cabin. He has a special cabin. His assistants were waiting. He talked to the super speedy one and he said, "I need you to zoom all around the castle."
Then the prince would sneak up because the fast one distracted the dragon. Then the prince killed the dragon. He got the princess and they got married.
Then the magic fairy put an invincible force field around the kingdom and the prince and princess sprinkled magic glitter over all the people to change them back to normal. The pirate and the mad scientist revived the dragon and went to hunt for gold and treasure. So everyone got what they wanted and lived happily ever after.


THE END