"If you're not happy without things, you won't be happy with things." It's amazing that I memorized this part of the Brite music tapes I grew up listening to because it wasn't set to music. The nursery maid says it of the spoiled (and depressed) princess that she serves each day.
It's one of those lines that I understand better with experience. At first it felt like an easy answer which was Mom's way of saying, "I'm not giving you that, but don't complain about it because you choose to be happy." A couple of years ago I read a quote by a famous actor stating that he wished everyone were as rich as he was so they would know that wealth doesn't create happiness. That's a no brainer. I've seen the ruinous lives of the celebrities spread across the magazines whenever I have to buy more dental floss or sunscreen at my local pharmacy.
There are other happiness mirages that have fooled me. There is the body image mirage which promises happiness if some goal of numbers or physical feats can be met. Didn't work. I've been plagued by the notion that if only I were more organized or if I purged more clutter I could build on the summit of happiness. Not a bad idea, but not happiness. For some it is marriage or children. For years, I thought more space was the answer but that was debunked after a month living in 5,000 square feet. More space=more responsibility, more cleaning and less family togetherness. I thought a basement playroom would bring peace, order and happiness to my life. I haven't been able to test that one out, but everyone that I know with a basement says their kids bring toys into the kitchen and want to play near Mom. At our house, we call this "clumping." I'm sure Mrs. Newton would have written about this law of attraction if she'd had the time.
There is still an oasis shimmering in the distance for me. I'll admit that I do think that having a yard with a fence would alleviate 80% of the pressure in my life by allowing me to unleash my younger children at my convenience. I can hear the nursery maid chanting in my ear, "If you're not happy without a yard, you won't be happy with one." Her words empower me. My happiness is my responsibility. Nobody can give it to me and nobody can take it away. I'm not holding my happiness in reserve for a yard. There is plenty to be glad about. I am happy right now.
Is there a mirage in between you and Happy?
How do you choose Happiness?
