Fear not!

Torpedo learned one thing in Sunbeam class today after the entire lesson about Jesus’ birth which included pictures of him and his classmate as babies together, a nativity set they could play with, a present to bring home, etc... The one thing he learned is, “Fear not!” He says it loud and often. I think if he keeps it up that will be really good for me. Can you imagine every 30-60 minutes hearing “Fear not!” Yeah, we could all use a little of that.

It reminded me of the angel in this favorite book who says, "Shazaaam!" instead of "Fear not!" but I think the message is the same.

Mermaid's Birthday

Mermaid is rockin' two years old! She didn't know what to do with her candles, but she was all over the cake.

Torpedo's Birthday

On Torpedo's fourth birthday, he showed me the joy of met expectations. For the six weeks leading up to his birthday, every time he asked for a "red Lightening McQueen racecar" I told him "Yes. I will give you a red Lightening McQueen racecar on your birthday." The fact that he was able to delay gratification let me know that he is indeed turning a corner, not squealing around it on two wheels at mach 3, but plugging along.

When the anticipated day arrived, he was appropriately giddy. Even though (and maybe because) he knew exactly what he was getting, he was SO happy when he opened the package and squealled, "A red Lightening McQueen racecar! I LOVE IT!"

I guess surprises are fine, but knowing exactly what you want, working towards/waiting for it and then getting it is awesome! Kachow!

I left his eyes red because it seemed right given his current obsession.

Eat This!

If you eat, you'll probably LOVE this. My Hero and I agree this is better than cinnamon rolls (we are fiends for cinnamon rolls!) and a one heckuva lot easier to make. Thanks to my good friend E.A. who shared this recipe with me so I could share it with you.

Merry Christmas!

Baked French Toast
Whisk together in a large bowl
10 eggs
2 3/4 cups milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Spray 9x13 pan with Pam)
Tear one loaf white bread into small (they don't have to be too small) pieces. Place in pan.
Pour egg mixture over top and press down with fork or whisk to help bread absorb all moisture
Optional-Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight
Bake at 350 for 40 minutes

Serve with Buttermilk Syrup, fresh fruit, whip cream...
Serves about 10

Buttermilk Syrup
Melt together
1/2 cup butter (equal to 1 stick of butter)
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup *buttermilk

Heat until bubbles form, then add
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon baking soda

*If you are caught without any buttermilk you can make it easily by using 1 cup of skim milk and a tablespoon of any acid. Using white vinegar or lemon juice will work and these add more tartness. Using a tablespoon of cream of tartar will work as well and this will not be quite as acidic.

Running Down a Dream

I have another post on Dare to Dream this month. I just love that site!
This entry is about Mermaid's medical mayhem and how running a marathon made it easier.

Reefing the Sail

This is a parenting technique I learned from sailing.


"Reefing is a sailing manoeuvre intended to reduce the area of a sail on a sailboat or sailing ship, which can improve the ship's stability and reduce the risk of capsizing, broaching, or damaging sails or boat hardware in a strong wind." -Wikipedia

For example, if four of your children simultaneous declare they need to use the one and only bathroom in your apartment, but the seven year old is the only one who says, "I need to go. I'm after Mom!" and your nearly-teenager starts having a stomp-shout fit about it because she was technically the first to say, "I need to go!," then you can reef the sail. In this, hypothetical case, you may smack said pre-teen with a long wooden kitchen spoon imported from Tunisia. Or you may take her precious face in your hands and fiercely whisper, "Don't do this." Or you may smile smugly to yourself at the cliche response of those under the influence of what we here like to call The Pubonic Plague and move on to helping another child find their socks, grateful you've already had your turn in the loo. This last would be an example of reefing the sail.

Fair Winds!

More of my favorite sailing eye-candy

Happily After

Last year Mermaid experienced hypsarrhythmia A.K.A. infantile spasms or seizures. In this season of gratitude, and as her second birthday approaches, I'm reflecting on that time in our lives. I am so grateful to be outside of that experience, looking back and knowing the conclusion. The uncertainty was crushing. Now doubt is merely the antagonist inevitably defeated by our happy ending.

We have so many "Befores," "Durings," and "Afters" in our days. "Durings" always seem so long, even when they're not. And "Befores" can be discouraging because we can never really go back to them. Even though we can never be sure what the "Afters" will bring, today I'm especially thankful for "After."


BEFORE: Happy Mermaid! So adorable. We didn't even know she had DS, let alone the shadow of seizures in her future.

DURING: The electrical brain chaos caused developmental pause and the steroid-like meds caused weight gain slowing her down even further; no smiles, no laughs, no interest and lots of sleeping.

AFTER: Mermaid began to wake up last December and here she is preparing for take-off in a helicopter aboard the U.S.S. New York. She is all toddler learning to walk, talk, sign and make-believe. She's curious and into everything. She pulls all books off the shelves and has started getting into the refrigerator. I don't even mind cleaning up. I am so thrilled that she is curious and happy.

Mi Casa es Su Casa

People are always curious about how we live in the city. This is a brief tour of our two bedroom, one bathroom 4th floor* home which comfortably sleeps seven. It begins with the view out eight of our ten windows. Next is the master bedroom with a custom built queen size loft bed in beautiful Poplar wood. Following that is the Living/Dining/Entry, Kid's room (2 bunks, 1 crib), and the Kitchen.

*elevator building

Dress Design for Shabby Apple dresses II

Dress Design for Shabby Apple Dresses




Star is also taking on the Dare to design challenge for Shabby Apple's Spring collection:

I was thinking about the competiton and what to draw beacause I'm in cold weather mode and this is supposed to be a SPRING design. Then I remebered a shirt I saw a few days a go at Target, a tunic shirt I have, and a dress that I have, then kind of combined them. the main color/fabric is blue cotton, not really solid blue but somewhat infused with white and then at the same time, not blotchy (this is the kind of fabric used in my tunic shirt only in this case it would be a slightly darker shade). Near the bottom of the skirt there is an embroidered vine of green. I've always liked birds. They like to sing, just like me. I thought it would look so sweet. Besides, the dress was designed for the bird. The bird is a cutout in the same material as the dress except in red with a few stiches of black the for the eye. Around the collar I added a vintage-ized area (yes I just made that up) that has dark blue lace and red plastic buttons about an inch apart.

I would probably pair it with my green ballet flats and on chillier days a white long sleeve shirt underneath or a light sweater in the same shade of red as the bird and the buttons.

STAR

Dress Design for Shabby Apple dresses

Dress design for Shabby Apple Dresses



Angelfish has taken up the "Dare to design" challenge for Shabby Apple's Spring collection. I'll let her speak for herself:

This dress was inspired by an orange shirtdress my Mother wears with jeans or leggings.
It's a Jersey knit dress in gray and yellow, but the belt and headband are white. The sleeves are 3/4 length.
It should be paired with yellow heels or sandals.
The longer black necklace was inspired by one my sister, Sparkle, made recently.

Even if I don't win, I hope I get to make this dress because I'm proud of it.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Things I have actually done for a Klondike bar:

1. I'd ride the subway four stops with a child who needs stitches in her head and a Klondike bar to keep her spirits up.
2. I'd walk three blocks to the grocery store and pay money.
3. I'd unwrap it and eat it if someone handed it to me.
4. Nothing of consequence
5. ...Ummm, I'm out.

What would I do for my kids? Now, we're talking motivation!! My children are a constant source of inspiration to do more; to be more. I wrote about it here.

Things I have actually done for my children:

1. KEEP TRYING.
At age five, Star stayed up for several hours mastering the snap. The next morning she snapped and said, "I'm the kind that sticks to it." She made a poster for me during my marathon training last year. When I would get weary on long runs, thinking about that poster and the girl who made it was better than jelly beans. Domestic functionality decreased when I was sweating over my first published essay, but Star encouraged me, "If it makes you happy then you should keep working on it."


2. CARE
Angelfish is sensitive to others. A tug at her heartstrings puts her hands to work. At age nine she planned and prepared chicken enchiladas, a vegetable side and dessert for an injured neighbor. She learns our neighbor's names and even asks for their phone numbers or business cards. Angelfish's example has inspired me to stop the stroller for a sidewalk chat with neighbors when it would be more convenient to pass on by.


3. BE BRAVE
Sparkle climbs light posts and street signs. She thinks dead birds are "interesting." She studies insects outdoors but kills them when they come inside. She tells teenage boys, "Pull up your pants. I can see your underwear!" She tackles math, science and art the same way. She's not afraid to experiment or get messy. On Sparkle's behalf, I once steadied my nerves and replaced her tooth in the socket from whence it was knocked. Impressed with the thrill of independence she feels at walking rails or scaling fences, I started working on my handstand. It may not be a marketable skill, but it sure would give my confidence a boost if I could hold a handstand. I've gotten up to two seconds.


4. TEST LIMITS
Torpedo was born like a rocket and has been pushing the envelope ever since. If there is a fence he wants to be on the other side. If there is a gate he must exit. If we're inside he throws things out the window (phone, remote, wireless mouse, bottles from the shower, books, toys, keys, etc.). While I'm teaching him to recognize and respect limits, he's teaching me to test my limits and try new things. In fact, his smooth speedy delivery partially inspired me finally to step out of the mainstream and fulfill my dream of a home birth.


5. ACCEPTANCE
Mermaid meets the world on her terms and she's usually happy. Today she clapped and smiled while a child six weeks her junior ran rings around her. She didn't roll onto her face and cry because she is nearly two and still not walking alone. She isn't on a schedule, timeline or trying to fill a mold. Mermaid invites me to meet all my children where they are with pleasure and confidence that they will progress. For example, as a home school mom teaching a literature based curriculum, I was teetering on panic over a reluctant reader. Mermaid reminded me that patience, confidence and consistently meeting my child on her terms would heal the relationship and solve the problem. Furthermore, she reminds me to move forward happily, though incrementally, from where I am rather than from where I think I should be by now.


Nah! I wouldn't paint my face bright blue for a Klondike bar. That was for the kids too!

Happy Mirage

"If you're not happy without things, you won't be happy with things." It's amazing that I memorized this part of the Brite music tapes I grew up listening to because it wasn't set to music. The nursery maid says it of the spoiled (and depressed) princess that she serves each day.

It's one of those lines that I understand better with experience. At first it felt like an easy answer which was Mom's way of saying, "I'm not giving you that, but don't complain about it because you choose to be happy." A couple of years ago I read a quote by a famous actor stating that he wished everyone were as rich as he was so they would know that wealth doesn't create happiness. That's a no brainer. I've seen the ruinous lives of the celebrities spread across the magazines whenever I have to buy more dental floss or sunscreen at my local pharmacy.

There are other happiness mirages that have fooled me. There is the body image mirage which promises happiness if some goal of numbers or physical feats can be met. Didn't work. I've been plagued by the notion that if only I were more organized or if I purged more clutter I could build on the summit of happiness. Not a bad idea, but not happiness. For some it is marriage or children. For years, I thought more space was the answer but that was debunked after a month living in 5,000 square feet. More space=more responsibility, more cleaning and less family togetherness. I thought a basement playroom would bring peace, order and happiness to my life. I haven't been able to test that one out, but everyone that I know with a basement says their kids bring toys into the kitchen and want to play near Mom. At our house, we call this "clumping." I'm sure Mrs. Newton would have written about this law of attraction if she'd had the time.

There is still an oasis shimmering in the distance for me. I'll admit that I do think that having a yard with a fence would alleviate 80% of the pressure in my life by allowing me to unleash my younger children at my convenience. I can hear the nursery maid chanting in my ear, "If you're not happy without a yard, you won't be happy with one." Her words empower me. My happiness is my responsibility. Nobody can give it to me and nobody can take it away. I'm not holding my happiness in reserve for a yard. There is plenty to be glad about. I am happy right now.

Is there a mirage in between you and Happy?

How do you choose Happiness?

Bedfellows: ownership & generosity

I'm not ignoring my fighting girls in the next room. I can hear every word they're saying. I'm letting them work it out.

1: "Get off my BED!!!"

3: "Why are you screaming at me? Why is it such a big deal?!"

1 "I have to scream at you because when I ask you to get off, you don't get off unless I scream at you!"

1,2,3: Variety of yelling, screaming and high pitched harumphing.

Maybe I am ignoring them. I'd better see if I can model some problem solving skills for my beloved daughters.

Me: Do we live in a big house or a small house?

1,2,3: A small house.

Me: Do you have lots of private things and spaces or actually just one private space in the whole apartment?

1,2,3: Just one private space

Me: And what is that private space?

1,2,3: My bed

Me: That's right. Your bed is your one private space that is just for you. You do not have to share it. However, because your bed is your one private space it also gives you an opportunity to be generous. You can extend an invitation to a friend or a sibling to sit or play on your bed and that should be recognized as an act of generosity. In this house, you are not expected to agree all the time. You ARE expected to be kind and respectful to each other. If someone says you cannot go on their bed, I will back them up on that.
Below: This is how we fit five kids into one bedroom (crib left of door)


I'm actually happy that I get to share my bed with someone I love, but it does make me wonder, what is my private space? I share a desk, a computer, a dresser, a closet and a cell phone. Honestly, there is usually somebody reading over my shoulder. My only privacy is in my thoughts. Generally, I want to share those as well. Maybe since my thoughts are the only things that are truly mine, sharing them is the only way I can be generous. So like Dogberry of Much Ado About Nothing, I bestow all my tediousness on you. ;)

Glutenny

I've been baking wheat bread for 15 years. Lately, I've been grinding my own hard red winter wheat to make it. Last week I inherited eight boxes of gluten from a sometime vegetarian fleeing the city for less crowded, less competitive and (let's face it) less filthy streets. I am astonished at the difference. I thought I had enough gluten because every batch of bread I make mixes for eight minutes on medium creating this vital ingredient in the process. Gluten composes about 80% of the protein contained in wheat seed. More important to eaters, it gives kneaded dough its elasticity, allows leavening and contributes chewiness to baked products. The above package claims that additional gluten will also increase the shelf life of my home made bread.

Protien
Elasticity
Leavening
Chewiness
Increased shelf life
Yes!

I didn't really think that a few teaspoons of tan powder would make much of a difference with my heavy home ground wheat. I'm happy to be wrong. This bread is everything I want it to be. Thick, soft and chewy, but not too dense. It has a nice crumb, cuts beautifully and is perfect for sandwiches. I can't test the shelf life claim because the family is noshing it into oblivion. Is this cheating?

This sudden jump in bread quality got me thinking about life. I believe in the law of the harvest. I believe in sowing what I reap and small and simple things bringing great things to pass. I'm creating my own little bit of gluten in the process. But sometimes I learn from another's vast experience. Sometimes I can blend their additional knowledge into my life and experience an astonishing jump in personal growth over a short time. It makes me more substantive (protien), flexible (elasticity), confident (leavening) and likable (chewiness). It may not extend my expiration date, but it will definitely increase my quality of life and get me off the shelf more often.

Right now, I'm ingesting 20+ years worth of distilled experience in home and family organizing from Teri Ebert.

Have you had leaps in your progression?

Who inspires you?

Hallelujah! (Potty Training)

"They'll let you know when they're ready." So said my pediatrician and he's been right about the first three kids. I created a lot of relationship tension and wasted a lot of time, treats and cleaning supplies the first time around. That was with a compliant willing child who wanted to please me by potty training. A few weeks after I stopped pressuring my second child with "just checking" trips to the bathroom and potty bribes, she told me that she needed to use the potty. She never used another diaper after that, day or night. I think she just wanted it to be her idea. She's that kind of kid. I didn't even bother with my third child. I just waited until I started finding dry diapers discarded next to the potty and asked if she wanted undies.

Enter Torpedo. He's three and three quarters years old. Once he realized he had control over those bowels, he just shut them off. It gets to the point where all his energy is spent on clenching. It's been traumatic for everyone. I won't detail the times and ways that I've had to "help" him. Suffice it to say that every time we're in the bathroom together he says, "No gloves. No gloves."

Last week, our neighbor's loaned us three potty training DVDs. Torpedo took these movies to heart. He quotes scenes throughout the day: "Is that a potty chair? [buzzer sound] No! That's a bicycle." He is constantly asking me if I'm a big kid and if I want to go to the potty. When I turn the tables on him he tells me that he likes babies. He likes baby toys and he does not want to use the potty or wear underwear. Were these DVDs creating a reverse psychology situation? I've been doing everything I can think of to help him succeed on his own including prayer, setting him on the potty when I see the signs, a high veggie diet and slipping Miralax or mineral oil into his sippy cup. I confess, I even let him play games on my iPhone while he's sitting there. Sometimes these things take awhile.

Well, it's working. Today he put his hands on his stomach and said, "I need to go to the potty." Hallelujah! I sent a grateful little heart-prayer up as I "flew" him to the bathroom. Minutes later he came out and started playing (sans pants) in the living room. I asked him if he "went." He didn't make a big deal about it, but sure enough... Then he asked for some race car undies. Zoom! Zoom!

Stop the abortion mandate

I love the United States of America. Our Constitution affords us incredible protections. Despite the current economic turmoil, our nation enjoys tremendous prosperity. I agree with Ezra Taft Benson that "people who have created their government can give to that government only such powers as they, themselves, have in the first place. Obviously, they cannot give that which they do not possess... What powers properly belong to each and every person in the absence of and prior to the establishment of any organized governmental form?"* Here I concur with Frederic Bastiat, the French classical liberal theorist, politcal economist and member of the French assembly. "Each of us has a natural right--from God--to defend his person, his liberty, and his property."** Ergo, I'm not a fan of government thumbs in everyone's pies.

I have flared up in fury over each new bailout. However, the Obamacare plan takes the cake. It positions ambiguous language to be interpreted to include abortion in its full range of reproductive benefits. I'll admit that I want nothing to do with a national healthcare plan, but at the very least I don't want to be forced into underwriting the abortion industry. I've urged my Representatives and Senators not to accept any reform, proposal or bill that does not clearly exclude abortion from the benefits.

I always give myself a little test when it comes to proposed tax spending. I ask myself if that group, cause, project, etc. came to my front door asking for money would I give it to them? I definitely wouldn't have given GM a dime. They've been a mess for decades. If a woman came to my door asking for money for an abortion would I give it to her? There are lots of things I would offer this woman including compassion, concern, my love, my testimony, suggestions of alternative solutions to her larger life concerns, access to thousands of post-abortive women trying to heal emotionally from their abortion experiences witnessing that it is not an 'easy out', pictures and stories of my adopted nieces and nephew, but I wouldn't give her any money. If you don't want your taxes underwriting the abortion industry visit StopTheAbortionMandate.com to learn more about this issue and how you can help.

Mother Theresa:
"America needs no words from me to see how your decision in Roe v. Wade has deformed a great nation. The so-called right to abortion has pitted mothers against their children and women against men. It has sown violence and discord at the heart of the most intimate human relationships. It has aggravated the derogation of the father's role in an increasingly fatherless society. It has portrayed the greatest of gifts -- a child -- as a competitor, an intrusion, and an inconvenience. It has nominally accorded mothers unfettered dominion over the independent lives of their physically dependent sons and daughters"
And, in granting this unconscionable power, it has exposed many women to unjust and selfish demands from their husbands or other sexual partners. Human rights are not a privilege conferred by government. They are every human being's entitlement by virtue of his humanity. The right to life does not depend, and must not be declared to be contingent, on the pleasure of anyone else, not even a parent or a sovereign." (Mother Theresa -- "Notable and Quotable," Wall Street Journal, 2/25/94, p. A14)

*(The Proper Role & Improper Role of Government by Ezra Taft Benson & Elder H. Verlan Anderson)
**(The Law, p. 6)

Validation

You, my blog friends, have completely validated me. My sister, Plainbellied, posted this on her blog a couple of months ago. It's worth sharing and gives an indication of how much your comments have encouraged me this week. Thank you! YOU are awesome!

Inspection

For the past several evenings I've played witches and evil queens who come to inspect the children's after dinner chores. The silverware must be dry and orderly in the drawer. The tables and counters cleaned smooth from dried food or glue and so on. My children are inspired by the impending inspection, anxious to see my costume and curious how I will behave in my new character. We finish clean-up more quickly than usual, notwithstanding the time it takes to dress up and inspect each chore. Afterwards, they rush to get ready for bed in time for the "reading fairy" who will simply pass by to the next house without giving them a bedtime story if they don't have their jammies on and teeth brushed. It's another costume, another voice, another attitude. As is often the case with people, slow is fast and they are actually getting to sleep earlier.

I know it sounds like silliness, what else could it be? We got the idea from Betty Macdonald's famous Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle. I've learned a couple of things though. The first is that my children want their work to be inspected. They like to know they will receive legitimate praise for a job well done. They also appreciate the refreshing, playful element of surprise. I've learned that I don't like being the bad guy. I've heard actor's say that playing villains is the most interesting. I don't like playing the disappointed witch or selfish queen. Tonight I was the almost-Empress inspecting all the preparations for the upcoming wedding party. My seven year old dried the dishes happily once I explained she was really shining the gold and silver for my royal banquet. They especially loved the kowtows and "My deepest regards to the carpet lady." It was much more fun looking for things to praise lavishly. Later, as the genie-of-work-and-reading, I read aloud while they took turns sorting laundry. Nobody had to work for more than 3 minutes at a time and I got to wear another fabulous costume. ;)

I don't have the energy or inclination to do this every night. But it's delightful to sprinkle it throughout the week. In between, I'm learning to inspect their work and follow-up with judgement. I let them know if improvement is required, but usually I can just praise their thorough work and cheerful attitudes. I have to write about this now while it's still fresh and working. Who knows what next week will bring in the adventures of parenting?

Rockonference

After General Conference on Saturday, my nine year old showed me the list of talk topics and hymn titles that she had written. My favorite was the closing hymn of the second session: Now We Sing at Party!

It did feel like the very best kind of party to me and I'm looking forward to more celebration of goodness today.

Party on!

Uncertainty

Last night My Hero said, "I wonder when all the uncertainty will end."
Yeah, I would like to know too so that I can write it on my calendar in big red letters, "End of Uncertainty," and a brief note underneath reminding me that from thenceforth, "all answers will come when I want, how I want."

Family Boundaries

I've seen and heard about soap operatics occurring in families that live "too close" together. Everyone is in everyone's business and giving their unsolicited advice. My mother could truthfully quote me saying, "I will live far away from you and never bring the grandchildren to visit." Essentially that's what is happening since we live in New York and my parents live in Utah, but my heart changed over twenty years ago.

With brief exceptional intervals, I have lived apart from immediate family since I left for college. All of my siblings attended the same university so we overlapped here and there living near each other, but never as roommates. We married and graduated, usually in that order, and settled where the work was.

People talk about living near family but not too near. The general consensus is an idyllic hour or two apart. Isn't that just substituting a geographic buffer for emotional wimpiness? If we can respect each other's individual family needs, differences and personal boundaries we can keep communications open and let the fun flow.

I love, respect and admire all the members of my family. More than that, I miss them. Today my friends announced that they are moving to family. In their case that means Sacramento, California which isn't too shabby! As dreamy as the weather in California is, I would happily live in Montana if that's where my family was. I happily live in New York and I don't have any family here, but I long for my family. I wish for aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents on a regular basis.

We've passed the halfway mark with Star. She'll probably move out in the next 5-7 years.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Nothing says celebration like potatoes and cabbage!

How do you commemorate St. Patty's Day?

Just Getting a Cookie

In one of my favorite scenes from Kung Fu Panda Po has failed in his condensed training program and is stuffing his face while all the capable warriors head out to stop the unbeatable foe. Master Shifu tells Po not to eat Monkey's cookies hidden on the top shelf. Two seconds later, Shifu finds Po holding himself to the ceiling in perfect splits on opposing cabinets. Shifu asks Po how he could possible do in the kitchen what he could not do in training. Po says, "I was just getting a cookie."

I am continually impressed, amazed, inspired (read-intimidated) by what everyone I know is able to accomplish. Whenever I do something it feels like no big deal because it was just me and I was just doing this one thing and it wasn't as glamorous as it sounds, etc. I'm just getting a cookie. Maybe next time I get my visiting teaching done or hit all of the day's subjects in school or feed my family another meal or get to sleep before 2 a.m. I will remember that there is no secret ingredient. I am the Dragon Warrior.


P.S. The Dragon Warrior loves cookies.

P.P.S. More of the Dragon Warrior's favorite lines from Kung Fu Panda:

There is no charge for awesomeness.

'Sorry' doesn't make the noodles.

Torpedo says: be-gone-zo

As a kid, I hated all beans especially those slippery garbanzos that would fly away every time I tried to stab one with my fork.  Good riddance, I'd think as the sneaky bean would shoot off my plate.   Now, I love them.  Garbanzos are a staple in our diet.  Torpedo, who asks for them regularly, calls them "Be-gone-zo beans."  And with him around to gobble them up, they are!

P.S.  I don't buy baby food anymore.  I make "hummus" for Mermaid by dumping a can of garbanzo (or any bean) and veggies (fresh or canned) in the blender with some olive oil (remember young ones need 40% of their calories in digestible fats).  She loves it and Torpedo has even started stealing bites from her bowl.

Encouragement

I want to be a writer.  SumGreater says that part of that is collecting a wall full of rejection letters proving my courage to write anyway.  My Mom said something similar about stretch marks after my first child and I didn't believe her either.  I had an essay proposal accepted to be part of a book.  My first essay was too narrative, my second essay was the same topic as two other essays already being included and my third essay was "valuable and interesting," but "not a good match."  Being rejected three times by this obscure project with an obscure publisher that was going to pay nothing anyway, did not make me feel courageous.  I haven't wanted to write anything at all- not even a to-do list.  

My Hero and SumGreater have both been so encouraging.  Family members are often the first ones to point out our flaws.  Perhaps they hope to save us from future ridicule by letting us know we've forgotten our pants before we walk out the door.  More often, they prevent us from ever leaving the house.  But these two continually praise what good I have to offer and lovingly share ideas for improvement only when I ask for them.   This works for me since I'm sure most of it is "eh-stinky," as we say at our house.  It's nice to have someone saying, "Save that.  It's working."  Continual encouragement is definitely a better motivator than rejection.  I'll be thinking about that this week.  And I'll be writing.

Soso Tasty-Indian Chicken

I rarely create anything tasty in the kitchen, so I wanted to share today's success.

Soso Tasty

(pronounced with Indian accent)

Ingredients:

3 Roasted chicken breasts diced

2 cans diced/crushed tomatoes

2 cans chickpeas (drained)

1 can green beans (drained)

1 can corn (drained)

garlic (I used my last tsp. of fresh garlic, but would like to try it with more)

chopped onion (I used 1/4 cup dried)

3 tsp. chicken bullion

3 tsp. Garam Masala spice mix

Optional:  spinach (I think this would be delicious, but I neglected to blend it in with everything else, so I'll just add some to my dish at dinner)

--------------------

In my blender I:  puree tomatoes, green beans (for hiding) and 1/2 can of garbanzo beans (for thickness)

Dump everything else in the crockpot and set on low.

Serve over Jasmine rice.

You might also try switching chicken bullion for beef bullion and adding stew chunks of beef.

My kids have been enjoying the smell all afternoon and MyHero and I had some for lunch.  It was actually delicious.  Star just snitched some and gave it the name Soso Tasty.

Death

My Hero doesn't want me to share this.  I killed a mouse in the kitchen by pinching it between the countertop and the wall.  He thinks I'm a superhero for killing the mouse.  He just doesn't want everyone to know that we have mice.  Well, the secret is out.  There are mice in New York City.  

I have killed lots of cockroaches.  They almost drove me out of New York in my first three weeks living here, but I have grown bold.  When necessary, I smash them with my bare fists.  I always hit them so hard that I won't feel the squish.  No matter how they die I always think, That's a fitting death for a cockroach.  

I have never personally killed a mouse before.  I've caught them with traps or pesticide.  Once I found a mouse drowned in my dishes that had been soaking overnight like Anne of Green Gables and the uncovered pudding.  Of course, I had to wash everything again with a new sponge and extra hot water.  We had a mostly-dead suffering mouse that My Hero put in a bag and windowsill whacked it out of it's misery. 

Today, was a surprise.  I was trying to scare the mouse away.   It won't be an impressive story to tell while waiting in line for mouse judgement.  Not like being swooped up by a hawk or some other natural predator.  Star thought leaving the corpse there for an hour or two would be a good lesson to any other mice that might be living behind our refrigerator.  That's so ancient Assyria, but I didn't want to dispose of it myself.  I waited for My Hero.  I think he is a superhero.  

My Polish super tells me there is only one mouse in the building, so we're all good.  If there were any other mice, they would have packed their bags and would be waiting until I finish this post and go to bed to sneak under the door and across the hall to try their luck in a new place.  Despite the ignominious death, Squeaky Cheeky is in a new place, too.  I wish him and the others well...well away from here. 

High Five

Tagged again!

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:

-Living in my in-law's basement
-Waiting for baby #2
-Teaching Young Women's
-Praying for My Hero to obtain life sustaining employment in New York
-Envisioning a one room apartment where we'd have to sleep in a family loft over a tiny kitchen

5 things on my To-Do list today:
-Watch the inauguration of Barack Obama
-Sledding
-Library
-Laundry
-Occupational therapy for Mermaid

5 snacks that I LOVE:
-Chocolate 

-Potato rolls spread with Nutella
-Hummus/Salsa/Guacamole with corn chips and possibly vegetables
-Sliced peaches and cottage cheese
-Citrus fruits

5 things I would do if I were a Billionaire

If I were a Billionaire I wouldn't limit myself to five main things.  The first things I would do if wealth came suddenly are:

-Go to My Hero's work, call him down to the lobby, kidnap him to the hotel across the street, seduce him and eavesdrop while he called his supervisor to tell her that he would never be coming back again...ever

-Buy a waffle iron and make waffles for the kids for breakfast while we talk about our plans of where to go and what to do with all that money

-Fill out the paperwork for all their U.S. and Finnish passports

-Park the van in a garage and never worry about alternate side parking again

-Take all available relatives on a domestic cruise while we wait for our passports

Too much Twilight?

Sparkle told me that her Sunday school classmates were talking about what they wanted to eat for breakfast. Each child in turn giggled, “Underwear.” You might think the teachers would be pleased to hear a different response from our six year old until she said, “Blood.”

Secrets

My sister, Plainbellied, has tagged me to share some secrets to dealing with insecurities as part of her New Year's Resolution Kick-off Extravaganza. Part One involves sharing secrets to dealing with insecurities. Part Two is for listing something that I already feel good about.


PART ONE

1. Regularly acknowledging God and our relationship to each other.

2. Noticing how much I've progressed over years. I change too slowly to notice in a few weeks or months, but if I look back over the past 5, 10 or 15 years my heart actually has changed significantly followed by my behavior.

3. Remembering that I have eternity to become. Maybe I only have a few talents now and I may have even defined myself by those talents at some points in my life, but eventually I will master all virtues and disciplines. I believe the promise that I can obtain all that the Father hath through the mercy of the Savior including being a whiz at marine biology and a master architect, chef, musician, servant, comedian... everything. Practicing developing skills now in one or two areas now will allow me to expand into other areas in the future. The point of this part is that I know I will have it all eventually, so I'm trying not to get caught up in comparisons or rushing or ever thinking it's too late.

*Bonus* Sleep enough and eat daily

PART TWO or Why I am Fabulous
*One thing that I really like about myself is that I pursue growth and anticipate that my ideas and understanding will change.

*I am forgiving, which plays a critical role in being able to change and in allowing for change in others, but recognizing my role to forgive whether anyone else changes or not.

*Writing -I'll just put that out there without an adjective. It's something that I enjoy doing and I do believe it improves with intense revision. I had a couple of stand out proud moments this year. 1. training for and completing a marathon 2. accepting an invitation to write for our Stake Christmas concert and then presenting my writing. I wanted to give the gift of laughter and I still can't really talk about how it felt to hear a thousand people laughing as I read. I'm not used to that feeling. It was a good one and I would like to feel that way again.

PART TWO B an example of my growing, not my writing. ;)
I am getting better at receiving. I was very big on DIY and the hardest way must be the best way. All the usual martyr stuff. Through a variety of circumstances, books and conversations. I am altering my perspective from a scarcity perspective to a perspective of abundance. I have come to realize that me receiving does not create a lack for someone else, especially as it relates to all of the blessings that Lord has for us. This earth has abundance. It is sufficient to sustain all of us in abundance. Spiritual gifts are also available that way. Love doesn't divide every time we get it or give it, it multiplies. So, I can set aside my fears about receiving. As far as being worthy to receive [and I'm talking about receiving anything: a compliment, a material gift, a foot massage-all of those things were difficult for me], my worthiness is irrelevant. The givers just want to offer these goodnesses to me. The best thing I can do is to receive with gladness so that we can both rejoice.

A few years ago, a baby shower was thrown in my honor. It was very difficult for me to be the center of attention. I was humbled by the outpouring of love I felt to have all those women arrange to be there and join in this celebration. One extra special friend had spent a long time thinking about me and handmaking the perfect gift. I passed it around for everyone to see and praised my friend for yet another talent. After the party, she helped me pack my bags and insisted on a cab home in the veritable monsoon rains. I was planning to walk home like a cheapskate pregnant martyr. While we waited for the car, this wonderful friend really laid into me for how poorly I had received the gift. She said that it was my night and my gift and I had deflected all the attention right back to her. She had wanted to see me light up and find joy in the gift without saying, "Everyone look at my friend, isn't she amazing?" or You shouldn't have." or "It's too much." She was really disappointed and I worried that I had offended everyone there by being too modest and conservative. I thought about it A LOT. It was a meaningful lesson and a turning point.

My heart is changing. My behavior is changing. This year my extra special friend sent me a similar gift for Christmas; something she had made herself especially with me in mind. I knew she was excited because she called to tell me to keep an eye out for it and let her know as soon as it arrived. I'll admit I had to squelch a faint clamor of voices in the back of my mind about the inferiority of the gift I had prepared that year: an emailed collection of personal Christmas stories, handcrafted over weeks, sure, but easily duplicated. If this friend had been in it for gift reciprocation, she would have dumped me years ago! ;) When the package arrived, I called her so that we could be on the phone together while I opened the gift from her. I was delighted. I squealed. I was still impressed with talents she has developed that I have not, but mostly I just felt so much love from her and so much love for her. The giving and receiving of gifts, at best, should multiply love so I am happy to report that I am getting better at receiving.