Love is Easy - Simple Anniversary

We like to do something we've never done before to celebrate our anniversary.  It can be something dramatic or something small, but doing something new makes us feel united and adventurous.  This tradition started 10 years ago with skiing.  Neither of us had much experience with downhill skiing so there was a lot of adrenaline, good fun, and to my amazement, no injuries.  Also, I don't know if there is any food on the planet that tastes better than a hot bowl of chili after an arduous day on the slopes.  Let me tell you, it is arduous when you have to pull yourself out of the snow 100 times.

Year 1 - Everything was new!

This year...


Location
We had a stay at home anniversary.  It could have been horrible.  Right?!  But it wasn't.  It was wonderful.  We just locked the bedroom door and let our kids catch up on Dr. Who.


Decor
I lit a candle in a mason jar...


Food
...and set out a cheese platter and some generous slices of Kermakakku and whipped cream.  It probably means love in Finnish ...or maybe it means Sour Cream Cardamom cake.  Nuance.  One of the benefits of an anniversary near the holidays is great leftovers.



Music
*New for me*  I made my first Spotify playlist [crowd cheers].  It's a musical chronology of our relationship from the "Nothing will ever happen between us" denial days to the devoted companions we are 19 years later, with some 80's love songs rounding it out.


Game
*New for both of us* We played a new game - Gifts  (I just made that name up.)  It's easy.  Each spouse needs a pencil and 12 pieces of paper.  Write one gift you would give the other if there were no obstacles.  Then exchange your gifts and take turns reading them aloud.  My favorite gift from Erik was "A big room w/big empty tables where projects can be left until done."  I don't know if his favorite gift from me was his "Caribbean hair," "Dinner and a jam session with Jack White at our house," or "All new rock climbing gear for a big wall assent."


Dancing
Then we spread our comforter on the floor, laid on our backs and listened to our "mix tape" just like we used to do (separately, in our respective homes as we were virtually unknown to each other) in high school when we had boom boxes with tape cassettes.  We laughed at our memories, made fun of 80's guitar solos and danced.


Presents
Already feeling awesome, we remembered we had other gifts for each other.  We ordered ebooks for each other from our public library.  GeekLove!  So, we downloaded our books and whether we actually read them or not is beside the point.  Also, I printed out a card  for Erik because I wanted to.

Year 19 - It just gets better.

Verdict

This was one of our best anniversary celebrations yet.  No commute.  No cost.  A little preparation and a whole lot of playful connectivity.


If this is love, love is easy!


I accidentally left that one off the playlist, so I'm sneaking it in now.  :)

The Santa Question

All Christmas season I've been stewing over what to do about the Santa question.  Nobody at my house was asking.  But my sweet nine year old son was so certain that Santa's wish granting factory was chugging away on his illustrated wish list, that I felt I needed to say something.  What should I say?  Until I could answer that question, I tried not to say anything.

One night after a father and son heart to heart about wants, needs, and true happiness, the timing seemed right.  Eli sat on my lap for a hug and I whispered in his ear.

Me:  You know how I'm the Birthday Fairy?

Eli:  What?

Me:  You know how I'm the Birthday Fairy?  Remember you helped me decorate when it was Alison's birthday?

Eli:  Yeah.  That was fun.

Me:  Well, I'm also the Tooth Fairy.

Eli:  *big eyes*

Me:  It is so fun taking a tooth and putting money under your pillow.

Eli:  *smile*

Me:  I am also the Easter Bunny.  Remember the basket we had this year on the boat?  One of the best parts of being a mom or dad is making happy surprises for our kids.

Eli:  That will be fun when I'm a dad.

Me:  Also, me and Dad and sometimes Grandma or Grandpa are (dramatic pause) - Santa.

Eli:  *processing - uncertainty - worry - acceptance*

Me:  You know who I'm not?  I'm not God.  I'm not Jesus.  I'm not the Holy Ghost.  They are real and they love you and have power to bless your life.  But I am Santa.  You have to love somebody very much and know them very well to be Santa.  Now that you know the holiday secret, you can help be Santa too.  When we wrapped presents yesterday, you were being Santa.

Erik opened a package containing a wrapped gift from an unknown source.  

Me:  Would you like to write, "From Santa" on this package?  

His initial concerns about his sisters recognizing his script were quickly set aside as he pulled out a blue sharpie.  More hugs and he finally, finally went to bed.  Erik was just getting into a joke from work that day when Eli magically appeared in the living room again.  All those cozy feelings from before started cooling fast.

 

Me:  What do you need?

Eli:  You know how I believe in Santa?

Me:  Oh, great.  Present tense.  Maybe that conversation didn't go as well as I thought it did.

Eli:  That means, I believe in you!

More hugs.  Can you believe this kid?!  I love Christmas.

Lavish Christmas

I realize that I get defensive when I'm overwhelmed, unprepared, comparing myself, or required to meet somebody else's standards.  Uh... Yes, so that basically describes my lead up to Christmas this year.  That and concerns about money.  Well, not really about money; more about not having it or at least not having it in the quantities that furnish piles of presents, bulging Christmas stockings, and delighted gasps from my children Christmas morning.  I know, I would have thrown myself a pity party, but my calendar was booked.

Then I received three gifts from the internet -not quite gold, frankincense, and myrrh but stories that brought healing into my heart.  I want to share them with you in case you're struggling too.  The first two were forwarded to me by my wonderful mother-in-law just in the St. Nick of time!  At first I thought, "Yeah, sure.  Kids want attention more than stuff.  Not my kid.  My kids wants a Nintendo WiiU.  Hands down.  No questions asked.  Nothing else will make Christmas happy for him."  But then I watched theses Ikea commercials.  What?!  Ikea.  It's for real.

And this one showed me how all that attention can look from a kid's perspective.  If you don't speak Spanish, here's the translation:  The woman says, "Look at all the children enjoying their Christmas presents.  Come here, sweetheart.  What did you get for Christmas?"  He shows her his gift and she is shocked, "That's it?!"  The boy reflects on his joyous Christmas morning.  The woman says, "Poor thing."  The boy looks at her like she's a total weirdo, shrugs, and then returns to his friends.

I was sitting alone on the couch checking my email for the umpteenth time that day.  As I watched these commercials, I became sensible to the fact that my husband was putting the kids to bed.  He was playing the guitar -Jack White, not exactly a lullaby but definitely sing-along material at our house.  I could hear the kids singing with him.  Then he cycled through some originals and some Christmas music.  The flood gates released I realized that even though there won't be a lot of wrapping paper to clean up this year, we are giving our children an incredibly lavish Christmas abundant with attention, bursting with encouragement, and overflowing with love.


The next morning I got a booster shot in the form of a blog post about how one mother's worst Christmas turned into her best.  Read half or read the whole thing.  In case you don't feel like reading it at all, I've included a spoiler at the end of this post.  I read this to my family and we laughed until we cried.  Especially me.  Those are the kind of tears we should have at this time of year.


In that spirit...
I wish you an extravagant, luxurious,  Christmas!



*SPOILER*
The family is experiencing financial straits due to medical issues and the mother is up sewing gifts for neighbors to save money when she realized she has nothing for the children's stockings the next morning and can't even afford a package of gum.  Her 11 year old daughter comes in and learns the plight of her parents.  She says, "All that matters is that we're a family.  I don't care if you squat over my stocking and poop in it."  Lots of laugh.  Clear thinking returns.  The family has an opportunity to bless someone else which has the effect of increasing their gratitude and reducing their worries all in one swoop.  Christmas magic!

More Love

Just putting a little love out there.

A lot has changed in the grown-up world since my last post: economic meltdown, new president, prop 8 fall-out...

In our kid's world there have been changes, too. We welcomed a sweet new niece, Camille, this week. All my girls insisted on sleeping in spongy rollers in preparation to sing for an apostle of the Lord at a special conference of our Stake today. Torpedo is even more in love with Mermaid than at first. He calls her "my baby," and wants to hold her, hug her and kiss her all the time...as do I. ;) Today, I held Angelfish while she wept for a full 15 minutes because (plot spoiler!) Old Dan died in Where the Red Fern Grows. I'm touched by the tenderness of their hearts and the love that multiplies in the world because of them. I have become a better person because there are children in my life. I hope you have some in yours.