My mother-in-law loves to tell a story of a Jewish woman who complained to the Rabbi that her house was too small for her family. No matter how many times I hear it, this one always touches me because my house is too small for my family. The Rabbi sends five more children to live in her house. After a week of this insanity, the five extra children return to the homes they came from and the kvetcher's house feels like a spacious mansion without all those extra bodies and mouths. She is so happy and stops complaining.
That same mother-in-law has just taken in three of my children for the week. I still have a baby and a toddler, but they are easily manipulated and easily pleased. I don't feel guilty if my three year old misses a reading lesson or eats an entire box of Andes creme de Menthes. The baby still has therapy several times a week. But I feel like I'm playing hooky. My responsibilities have diminished drastically. Today, I didn't make my bed until after midnight. I washed and dried the table once. I swept the floors once. I actually mopped the kitchen once. I washed chocolate off the flatscreen, keyboard and mouse only once. But I'm not having to repeat every action multiple times or supervise the repetition of any of these actions, or break up fights, or lose sight of Torpedo while he tears off on some deconstructionist jag. Everything feels so manageable that I don't want to disturb the calm by making a To Do list for myself which would only include more cooking, cleaning, editing and preparing for the future.
In a way, I'm rediscovering myself a little bit. Now, that I can do whatever I want, what am I doing? I'm reading, writing, visiting friends, calling friends and checking out my friend's blogs. I will do a little cleaning and add cooking, editing and preparing for the future next week after I've indulged in a good long Saturday afternoon nap. I miss my girls. It's spacious and simple without them, but I love the richness, texture and joy they bring to my life. I called my children and Sparkle asked, "Mom, could you call back when I have something interesting to tell you?" When they return, I will have fresh eyes and ears for all of the interesting things they have to tell me and Grandma will think she lives in a mansion. =)
