You've come a long way, Baby!

For a full update on Mermaid click here! We could not be having more fun.

A Dancer's Body

I've been thinking about something a choreographer said to me once. I was telling him that I didn't want our oldest daughter (then 5 or 6) in dance classes because it would be the beginning of a long and treacherous road of poor body image and self loathing. That's what ballet was for me. I said she had my genes. I said, "I don't have a dancer's body." He immediately shot back, "If you danced, you would have a dancer's body." Smack.

I've thought about that periodically since then. Body image isn't the crushing trial it was before my mid-twenties, but the idea of doing something in order to become something applies everywhere in my life. Mother? Urbanite? Homeschooler? Sailer? I was not "the kind" until I did it and became "the kind" through practice. I need to assess what I'm doing to figure out what I'm becoming.

I'm glad I've given dance a second chance. Thanks to my dear friend K.B. for creating such a nurturing environment and teaching this class out of the goodness of her expansive heart.

P.S. These are not pictures of my dance class, but they are a good representation and the girl in the middle even looks something like I did at that age. We had balloons back in the day. ;)

Focus and Commitment

Trying something new makes me feel young; by "young" I mean enthusiastic, curious, and open. I enter the learning curve at the bottom where mistakes and successes are in symmetrical abundance. Mistakes are expected and therefore less discouraging. Successes are frequent and always a delight.

I'm taking a modern dance class and it's carving new pathways in my brain. While I love to dance freestyle at home or at parties, I haven't taken a dance class since early elementary school. My teacher expects awareness of the body, its relationship to space, and its relationship to the other dancers. I've long considered myself spatially challenged. I once entered a dance circle with a dramatic kickboxing move which caught my friend in the stomach and knocked her flat. Too much MTV?

In this class, my teacher praises focus and commitment to a movement. I notice this about dancers. The entire body is directed towards a single goal or direction. That may change quickly, but when it does the entire body supports the new decision. It's obvious on stage, but I've seen this in my dancer friends even when they are cooking.

I often think about the mind-body-spirit connection, but don't always honor it in my choices. My shoulders, hips, knees, and feet are generally facing three different directions. I know my body is telling me something true about my focus and commitment.

It's easier to be open to ideas in a new setting, environment, or experience. Modern dance is creating a new awareness and a new metaphor for understanding myself and my relationships with time, space, and people. Tonight my teacher praised "moments" of focus and commitment. I hope to have more of these moment in class and in life.

I wish it were that easy

Bedtime conversation last night:

Sparkle: I feel like crying, but I don't know why.

Me: Okay...?

Sparkle: I just thought that since you gave birth to me you might know why I feel like crying.

Fair Winds

It's still early in the season here, but Providence gave My Hero gorgeous weather for his birthday (Happy Birthday!!!) and he finagled one of the only boats that was actually in the water moored just off Long Island Sound. I'm not going to lie. The cold bit through two sweaters and my coat. Wind must be cold blooded like a reptile, because it generally comes out after the sun has been up for a while. In our case, that was the last hour of our sailing time.

It was GLORIOUS!

We met a new friend (NF) who had at least 20 years of sailing experience. NF and My Hero generously coaxed me into taking the tiller while we had the precious wind. Normally, I stick to the sheets (ropes) and follow orders because I find the tiller counter-intuitive. Last season I logged a total of 40 minutes on a Sunfish before a lightening storm blew in. I was holding sleeping Mermaid the whole time. I'm not exactly a helmsman. So I was embarrassed to take the tiller in front of NF and didn't want to steal any of their wind time. This is not what is meant by "willing to learn."

I felt the wind working with our little vessel and the tiller started to make sense on a visceral level. I had to concentrate, but I made a successful tack. That was probably the longest I was ever at the tiller. My Hero fell in love with sailing first. I'm right behind him.

We didn't take any pictures, but it felt something like this:


Click here to learn about the Nortons, a family of 5 from the UK who are sailing around the world, expanding our dreams and spicing up our geography lessons. We all adore them!



I recently learned about this book promoting the value of sailing as a family in this day of decreased family leisure time and increased division due to digital devices. Here is the quote that sold me:

The best way to get people into sailing and keep them interested, says Hayes, is the time-honored relationship of a capable mentor and a keen apprentice: “Mentoring is teaching infused with leadership. Mentoring may center on a principal skill or a capability like sailing, but its mastery isn’t exclusive to the skill or the technique, but to the broader understanding of what makes the skill or technique valuable and relevant.”

Family, Mentoring, and Sailing - three loves of mine.

Fair Winds!

Integration vs. Compartmentalizing?

I've had three dedicated blogs, but thought I should probably integrate them here as they are integrated in the flow of my life: events, thoughts, home school, down syndrome stuff. They all fold together in my reality, but the argument for compartmentalized blogs was recently made by some friends. Perhaps, it's easier for those only interested in our down syndrom journey to reference a dedicated blog. Likewise for my education blog. I'm undecided. In the meantime, I'll double post if it pertains to one of my other blogs.

For a paradoxical look at how compartmentalizing has brought integration for My Hero click here.

Red Lipstick Therapy

Scrutinizing my reflection and contemplating my upcoming birthday I realized that I not only look my age, but I also look something like my maternal grandmother when she was my age. I decided to accentuate the similarities with bright red lipstick like Grandma (and all the hollywood starlets of her day) used to wear. The change was dramatic. I was mildly uncomfortable, but genuinely emboldened. Red lipstick, it turns out, makes me feel cheerful.

Mermaid noticed the difference right away and was mesmerized by the presence of lips on my face. She focused trying to imitate all the shapes they made as I spoke or sang to her. Could this be a break through in her speech development? Maybe. I'll be wearing red lipstick more often... for both of us. Thank you, Grandma!